Pages from my CFDA Diary

Days after reviving my CFDA portfolio, I found my journal with very disturbing images and sketches that I have collected through out my winter break last year.

After the death of my grandfather, I had researched anatomy and the human body in general as well as Blood, LOTS OF BLOOD.

The more gore, the better.

I emotionally blocked myself from feeling pain, so I decided to view pain through the most morbid way possible.

Here are a few pages from my journal that best represent my process.

Journal Scan-2Journal Scan 2-2Journal Scan 2-3Journal Scan 3-1Journal Scan 3-2Journal Scan 3-3Journal Scan 2-1

CFDA Collection: Out for Blood

Over the course of 7 weeks, I have designed a Collection for the CFDA. A lot of time and effort has been put into this collection during a vulnerable time in my life. I am incredibly proud of what I have accomplished and I am ready for the world to see my ability and versatility as a designer.

Out for Blood
       This collection derives from my vulnerability in the aftermath of my grandfather’s death. There are moments when I have to remember that he is no longer with us and there is this painful reminder that immortality is only for folk tales and grimm stories. After my grandfather passed away, my attitude changed.
 I don’t see life through rose colored lenses. like I used to. I see darkness easily because I happiness is no longer clear to me.
        I am exposed to my deepest sorrow like an open wound. On the outside, the skin cells are used to protect from harmful diseases and bacteria. If the skin is torn, you are exposed to the painful and sensitive muscle tissues that can cause extreme discomfort and sharpness in pain. I am in the stage where my shell is broken and I am left naked for others to see my sadness. I have no choice, but to grow another layer and hope to recover and remind myself that life goes on and we must be resilient in life.
      The pieces are developed to look stripped away one by one like each layer of skin only to reveal the most honest and truthful potential of a human’s core. Some of the garments are more covered, but the accents of slits with embellished tasseled crystals hang like torn muscle tissue. She is not naked, yet she is vulnerable because her rib cage, her back and thighs are exposed to blood vessels that can bleed heavily when slashed open. But as she wears these clothes, she is proud to expose here scars and see that she will let the wounds scab and she will heal again.
     From the external layers of the jackets and coats, bulky and dense leathers are to represent the thickness and durability in leather like skin. Under the layers, less sturdy fabrics are revealed to protect the skeletal canvas. Hues of red, grey and burgundy are used as a color motif for blood, muscle tissue and blood cells.              Fabrications of satin, velvet and brocade signify the different textures of the muscles, and blood tissue. The lightness is lace is designed as the spirals in blood cells or torn ligaments that intertwine with the bones. Some garments will appear more revealing than others due to the different stages of decay and physical torment. In the end, the clothes are dying gracefully.

If you would like to see the entire collection, please go to 

Thank You.